just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
