We got so high we made milksteak
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
