Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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