i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
pray to the hookup gods
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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