dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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