i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
