you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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