Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
