he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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