i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
