it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
