actually, I'm a sock model
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
