so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize