Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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