did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
