no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
