I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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