We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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