I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
