He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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