is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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