I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
