So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
