she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
