Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize