I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
