yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
