i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
