Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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