mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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