dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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