Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
