Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
