Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
