So drunk its hurt
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
