We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
