Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
