Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize