Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
