all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
