One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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