I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just found a bag of teeth...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
