Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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