everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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