So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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