I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
