This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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