Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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