I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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