my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
tell me about the fingering
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