I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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