i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
