so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
