Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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