just come out here and I will go home with you...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
