He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
