Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
