I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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