Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
