He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Farmville is her only friend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
