I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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